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Post by vidyapatel on May 21, 2021 1:21:31 GMT
May 20th: The day was tough, but overall alright. I started the day off by working on my slides for the funding pitch project and ended up enjoying putting it all together. After that, I attended PA 60 lab and was able to complete the homework assignment and submit it. I ended up taking a nap because I am always tired for no reason. When I woke up I decided to go to Wegmans to get a change of work space and it worked quite well. I was able to make the rest of my slides, send some emails, attend the PA 70 lecture, and start the outline. By the time I got home it was time for the office hour and my mom made little sandwiches for dinner which was fun. The day went downhill after I saw I did not score as high as I wanted on a midterm- it is a GE and the midterm and final are weighted so high so it really ruined my mood. I had my meltdown and then made an overly planned out study schedule to cope. It made me feel better to see that it is manageable and I emailed my TA to schedule a time to meet. The exams are a few open-ended, all worth 50 points so I just feel nervous and am not sure if I will do better. What I accomplished today: 73C slides, PA 60 Homework 4, emails, PA 70 lecture What I hope to accomplish: laundry, Mem ed, PA 70 outline Goals for tomorrow: paddle, PA 60 week 1 lectures, AP HW, shift at sublime, brotherhood, PA 70 outline
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Post by elainekim on May 21, 2021 3:36:22 GMT
May 20th:
I basically saw Connie as soon as I woke up since she needed to borrow a top from me. I swiped her into De Neve and we got some food. After, I got an iced vanilla latte from bcaf with my friend and picked up my paddles that came. I’m going to paint mine this weekend which I’m excited about. We had our last office hours which was really sad. Thankfully, I made it through with no aftermaths except I really wanted to see Eric do his at next week’s meeting. I probably should not be going out with my friends tonight because I have work due tomorrow for one of my classes, but that’s an issue for tomorrow morning.
We also had our last memed meeting tonight which was also sad since I’ve really liked our meetings and feel like we’ve learned a lot. It was really interesting to hear Amy’s diversity presentation. We did an activity where it really taught us about economic hardships and disparities which prompted some really good conversations. I’m currently about to put a full face of makeup on and need my hair to be wavy. This coming weekend and week are going to be so crazy. I’m going to have to be getting through my classwork, preparing for hell week, and hanging out with Matthew (and do my fam hangout) when he comes. I’m very excited to finally see my big in person. However, I don’t want to be dead before hell week even starts, so I’m going to need to be mindful of that.
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Post by kylienakamoto on May 21, 2021 3:58:54 GMT
Thursday 5/20/21 I was super tired overall today because I was so overwhelmed with school. I had my Economics midterms at 8 AM. Thankfully, it was pretty easy since it was only multiple choice questions and he used a lot of old homework questions. After this, I had class pretty much from 9:30 - 3:30. Again, I can never pay attention in my Pol Sci 50 class. I enjoy my cluster seminar even though it was 3 hours. We talked about cases concerning gender and sexuality in law, which was super interesting. After Office Hours I kind of relaxed and gave myself a break after a long week. I had my interview with Claudia before MemEd and she was so nice. Akunnia also came to give me chocolate which was so sweet of her and so yummy (if you’re reading this I love you!). MemEd was super productive today. Amy was an amazing and passionate teacher who gave a great presentation on implicit bias, intersectionality, deficit thinking, and the cycle of poverty. We also participated in a very eye-opening activity where we simulated the life of an unemployed person. It was crazy to see the costs of so many everyday tasks, and how people have to make “morally questionable” decisions just to survive. It was sad having our last MemEd since Jessica and Lauren have been amazing. I will miss MemEd so much and have learned so much from them. For the rest of the night I plan to just stay in, relax, sleep, and catch up on work. I am so excited for this weekend and have a lot of fun activities planned!!! But I also need to prepare for Hell Week which is scary. Feeling: tired but content Want: ice cream Messages: Eric: pls leave me alone Elaine: hi bae have a fun night <3 Hanna: thx for yum dinner ily Vidya: ily pls come to westwood AJ (Aya): hi gorgeous post ur selfie! Nathan: heyo fake canadian w da fresh cut Alexis: ur the coolest twin Zz: ily mother of the pledge class ME (Emmy): coolest aunt on the block <3
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Post by ericrousso on May 21, 2021 4:15:05 GMT
5/20
Today was an alright day. I was very annoyed at the start of it, however. I have difficulty explaining my emotions sometimes, but for today, I’ll just say I was internally frustrated at my roommate. He is incredibly genuine and kind, and I mostly never held anything against him the entire year. I consider us friends, we get along, and we have never expressed any dislike for each other the entire year (and I believe that we would have, if there was any dislike to be expressed). However, I’ve recently been getting very annoyed. To sum it up, he had a girlfriend for basically the first half of this school year. I could tell he was super happy in the relationship, and they had a really nice time together. However, she broke up with him a few months ago, which was really devastating for him. He would talk to me about his thoughts and what he was feeling, and I always tried to make myself available to listen. He developed some really healthy coping mechanisms throughout the process, like focusing his energy on cooking (which he loves to do), journaling, and just appreciating what was around him. I don’t know if this makes me sound like the a**hole, but I feel like the coping mechanisms that he developed empowered him to have some sort of moral superiority complex over everyone else. He seems to have mostly recovered from the breakup (in the sense that he no longer mopes and is relatively normal), but something is definitely lingering. I don’t feel comfortable voicing any of my emotions around him or stating any opinions, because he (unknowingly, I think) finds some way to invalidate them and place his moral opinions above mine. I always feel like I’m being judged, even when there’s nothing to judge me on. Personally, other than my internalized emotions, I think this feeling is a result of their breakup. He was happy in a relationship, the relationship ended, he learned how to be a “better” person as a result, and now it seems as if he thinks he just IS the better person. For example, when he would talk to me about his breakup and I would just be listening, he would always tell me how I don’t understand what he had; he wanted me to read his journals just so I could grasp their relationship. This was probably true (I didn’t understand), but the way he talked to me was always incredibly condescending and sometimes just rude. What makes me even more frustrated at this, however, is the amount of hypocrisy in his actions, considering how “morally superior” he seems to see himself. One specific example, that was brought up again this morning, was his opinions on hookup culture and relationships in general. After his breakup, he would always tell me how our other roommate treats girls wrong, and how guys searching for hookups is rooted in misogyny and a lack of respect for others' desires. I don’t disagree with his statement, but he would always say it in a judgemental yet matter-of-fact tone that only strengthened my image of him as having some moral superiority complex. Anyways, he would go on about how the relationship he had with his girlfriend was the best thing that ever happened to him, and how he couldn’t see himself “hooking up” or talking to anyone else any time soon, like our other roommate constantly did. Nonetheless, a few weeks ago, he had some to drink, and next thing you know a girl is sleeping over in his bed, and they obviously had just hooked up (while I was in the room sleeping). In the morning, I was incredibly (and maybe unreasonably) mad over this, based on a combination of his earlier statements about hookup culture, the condescending tone he always took with me, and the fact that I WAS IN THE ROOM while this was happening. I didn’t want to take it out on him, so I drove home for the day to spend time with my parents and cool off. He never brought it up again, and we still haven't talked about it to this day. He carried on the same hookup culture conversations and demeaning tone with me, and still seems to invalidate all my actions and feelings while placing himself on his own high horse, for lack of a better phrase. The reason why I am typing about this for my daily journal today is that the hookup thing happened again this morning, and although I was less mad than last time, it still was a pretty bad start to my morning. I didn’t type this all out to make it seem like I hate him, or that I’m trying to invalidate his emotions, or to prove that I am right and he is wrong. I think he is entitled to handle his personal life how he wants to, so I don’t blame him for his past actions. I just wanted to get rid of some of the personal offenses I have been feeling as a result of his actions, whether he recognizes them or not. It would probably be a better idea to have a conversation with him rather than let this all build up, but it does feel good to type it all out like this. That’s really all I had to get out, just know that I’m just frustrated and want to be better at understanding the whole situation rather than letting my emotions guide my thoughts. Goodnight homies.
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Post by alexisp on May 21, 2021 4:15:14 GMT
5/20
Today will be a day I will probably remember forever. I found out something today extremely shocking and for others it sounds very very scary but it really isn’t and is also extremely common. The news wasn’t what hit me the most. It is thinking back to a decision I made a while back. I made a decision when someone else I knew got hit with the similar news and it shocked me and I felt bad for them in a sense. I could’ve potentially made the decision to ignore them and live “carefree” but I didn’t. I ignored what had happened and accepted them and eventually became very very close with them. Today really made me look back to think that I made a very very good decision. I used to beat myself up for ever considering going the other route but now all the guilt is gone because now I know that I made the best decision in my entire life and it was all by trusting my gut rather than my head. Trusting my head too much has gotten me in too many stupid situations. Trusting my gut has gotten me the best results because it never overthinks, it justs goes with the best calculation and thats it. It may be some sort of animal instinct or something but I am not too sure. Anyways, I feel reassured in some sense where others might feel distraught or scared when in reality they shouldnt be. Nothing of my news has told me that my life will change in the slightest so im happy rn to be me.
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Post by Nathan Klassen on May 21, 2021 5:09:50 GMT
*I am doing this on my phone and cannot log into my account but this is Nathan Klassen*
Journal 05/19: Hello all, Today was my long voyage from the Bay area to Orange County. Since my family will be moving my sister out of her apartment we got a big rental Van; however, it only has 2 seats and there are 3 people between my mom, dad, and I. For the first half of the trip my mom and I sat on the same seat which was extremely painful for both my back and my gluteus maximus. The second half I ended up sandwiching myself between both my mother and father on some pillows. Although the trip was long and boring, as I 5 is nothing but deserted rural farmland, it was not that bad of a drive.
As soon as we got to our Air BnB here, I immediately logged in to our membership education meeting. Sadly, the Air BnB had Wi-Fi issues as one of the cables connecting to our Wi-Fi router was broken and split. I was not able to participate in one of the activities Amy had showed us but I really enjoyed her presentation. I was able to access the meeting by using my phone's Wi-Fi, but my laptop is not able to operate with the same luxury as it requires Wi-Fi. This means I will be needing to go to a Starbucks in the morning in order to execute my two interviews, as well as attending my class. I am also currently writing this on my phone and I have never been quickest at texting, so this is taking a bit.
I am really excited for this weekend as I get to see my sister and brother this and my family will be whole again. I have plans to hopefully meet up with my one friend who lives in Orange County as well as visit with my big on Monday. Tonight, I still need to figure out which Starbucks I will be For reloading and I hope to listen to Olivia Rodrigo's first album.
Have a great weekend! –Nathan
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zzkhan
Junior Member
Posts: 72
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Post by zzkhan on May 21, 2021 5:45:00 GMT
5/20: I have been so. drained. I guess I am just really burnt out and have to push through. This whole week has been a self-care week. I constantly am in pain but am just working through the day, because otherwise I just get super anxious and overwhelmed, thinking that my whole body is dying and that I won’t wake up. I know that sounds morbid but I don’t know why my head spirals like that, maybe I just need to take pain meds so the actual pain goes away and I don’t start over stressing about everything. I was going to do more work today, but I literally can’t get myself to do anything. I’m going to try to write lots of emails tonight and schedule send them for tomorrow, but I don’t know if I have the energy. I’m currently in bed just on my laptop with my best friend, the heating pack, right next to me. I already took a nap today, too, and it’s only 10:41pm and I can barely keep my eyes open. Sophia is making cookies, though, so waiting for those might incentivise me to stay up a bit, and in the mean time I can get some email writing done. I hope tomorrow is a better day. I have to walk to the doctors in the morning, so that should be good I hope. I hope they figure out something that’s wrong with me. I’m genuinely really scared. I hope it’s nothing scary. I’m sure it’s not I just get anxious. I need to chill, man. It’s so hard to do that these days. Tomorrow is a new day, peace for tonight.
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Post by emmyshaw on May 21, 2021 6:00:31 GMT
5/20 Hey guys! So today I had to wake up at 7:50 am for an appointment at 8 am which was fine except I went to bed late (lol). So I was up for an hour then went straight back to sleep for another 2 hours. I then had to jump right back of the bed and crack on with the mountain of coding. I sat outside for a while doing it which was actually really nice. I ate another 2 bagels today - if you can't tell, I go through phases of eating the same food all the time and it's on some weird rotation. A couple of days ago it was guacamole on toast (lol). I like to cook, but am often too lazy to do so. I then basically sat down and coded for like 3 hours cause it was being super finicky (as per usual) and then headed to MemEd. I always love memEd and was pretty sad it was our last one. BUT, it was so great to speak with Jessica at the end cause she is such a lovely person. After that, I legit had 10 minutes to make dinner and hop on another call but this time with people from chemistry (yuck) and we basically did annoying online titration work for an hour and a half. Now, I am writing this journal, and I am about to eat a cookie that my roommate made. I feel like I am always writing about my roommates baking something and me just eating it. Yes, I know I must re-pay them in some way and stop being the lazy roommate - I'll make a fabulous surprise over the weekend. Anywho, I have an hour to finish this darn dreaded coding so that is what I shall do. Bonne nuit mes mecs!
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Post by ayacohen on May 21, 2021 6:05:51 GMT
5/20: Today was a pretty rough day. Yesterday, I felt like I was making a lot of progress mentally. I set up that therapy appointment, and decided it was time for me to make a change. Except, when I had my appointment today, I felt like I made a million steps in the wrong direction. The specialist found so many things that weren't right with me, that I felt like I should have gone YEARS earlier. The amount of progress it'll take to feel better is going to be a lot. But you know what? I'm strong! I'm a badass! I just have a few mental roadblocks that I'm going to knock out of the way, and that is totally okay. Unfortunately, due to my brain being incredibly mean, I didn't get any work done today. I laid in bed from 11 AM-3:30 PM until Office Hours, and then got right back into bed right after until Membership Education. I felt really embarrassed and upset with myself that I got so little done, and at the moment, I am contemplating staying up really late to do it all. But I think it'd be best if I just try and do it tomorrow, I guess. All in all, tomorrow is the last day of Week 8. The school year is almost at a close, and I am proud of myself. Even in the last few weeks doesn't go as plan, I don't really mind. I want to prioritize my mental health over everything, because it is worth it. Now, I am on the phone with my boyfriend. I feel so grateful for his existence. I really don't know how to depend on people, and he is the very first person I have ever put all my trust into. He makes me smile, buys me snacks when I feel sad, and is my shoulder to cry on. It's undoubtable that I can trust him for my whole life with everything I have, and it makes me so happy. Actually, right now he is doing a southern accent and I retract everything I just said. He's reading Costco 1 Star Reviews for fun.
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Post by hannasato on May 21, 2021 7:14:04 GMT
May 20th:
Today I woke up at 10:30 for my interview with Suzy which was fun. We talked about her plans for this summer, studying abroad, and our passion for astrology. Afterwards, I ate past for breakfast because my mental health has been poor and I have no effort for anything lmao. I worked out for an hour and showered, then I packed a parfait and headed to the library.
Mira and I booked slots for the library today which was exciting because it was my first time ever going to a library at UCLA. The slot was for four hours so I felt pretty productive, I sent out some thank you, confirmation and cold emails to set up my interviews for the week and I feel like they went fairly well. I also went to our last office hours which was honestly crazy because I feel like pledging is never going to end.
I walked home with Mira and said bye to her which was sad because she is going to Lake Tahoe this weekend and I am not going to see her for a few days. I took a nap for thirty minutes, changed for our last Membership Education and then did the meeting. It was kinda annoying, my roommates both had girls from their sororities over and even though I was in my room and blasting my volume I still could barely hear anything. My roommates have been very supportive throughout pledging but it just irritated me that they didn’t think to not blast Kanye when I am in a meeting.
Anyways I made dinner afterward because cooking always makes me feel better, I made orange chicken and bok choy and then went downstairs to Shilp’s. Sorry my journal is late my mental health has been out of whack lately but I was talking to my pledge brothers about potentially going to therapy just to work things out even though nothing is really wrong per se, but I think I am going to book a slot for this week.
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Post by nathanklassen on May 22, 2021 2:50:05 GMT
I do not know how this quote function works, but I wanted to say that this was my post for 5/20 *I am doing this on my phone and cannot log into my account but this is Nathan Klassen* Journal 05/20: Hello all, Today was my long voyage from the Bay area to Orange County. Since my family will be moving my sister out of her apartment we got a big rental Van; however, it only has 2 seats and there are 3 people between my mom, dad, and I. For the first half of the trip my mom and I sat on the same seat which was extremely painful for both my back and my gluteus maximus. The second half I ended up sandwiching myself between both my mother and father on some pillows. Although the trip was long and boring, as I 5 is nothing but deserted rural farmland, it was not that bad of a drive. As soon as we got to our Air BnB here, I immediately logged in to our membership education meeting. Sadly, the Air BnB had Wi-Fi issues as one of the cables connecting to our Wi-Fi router was broken and split. I was not able to participate in one of the activities Amy had showed us but I really enjoyed her presentation. I was able to access the meeting by using my phone's Wi-Fi, but my laptop is not able to operate with the same luxury as it requires Wi-Fi. This means I will be needing to go to a Starbucks in the morning in order to execute my two interviews, as well as attending my class. I am also currently writing this on my phone and I have never been quickest at texting, so this is taking a bit. I am really excited for this weekend as I get to see my sister and brother this and my family will be whole again. I have plans to hopefully meet up with my one friend who lives in Orange County as well as visit with my big on Monday. Tonight, I still need to figure out which Starbucks I will be For reloading and I hope to listen to Olivia Rodrigo's first album. Have a great weekend! –Nathan
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Post by vidyapatel on May 25, 2021 1:20:57 GMT
May 24: Today was a great day because it was a productive day. I started off the day by folding pretty much a month's worth of laundry and cleaned my room which was a great way to start the day because I already accomplished 1 task. Our area has opened up recently and one of my favorite places to study was finally open again so I decided to go there around 10 am and get the day started. I watched 2 PA 60 lectures and worked on some slides before attending my cluster seminar. The seminar was 3 hours and it was sad because it was our last one since next week is MMW. My group planned out our project a bit more and I hope that goes well. Sadly, the wifi was pretty scratchy at Wegmans so I asked my mom to come to pick me up. I Facetimed Anita while waiting which is always a job. Once I got home I had a discussion, interview, and office hour. My office hour made me feel a lot better because my TA agreed that I deserve to have some points given back in my midterm and I hope when I meet with the professor I can get some of the points back because my grade did not reflect the hours of studying I put in. After that, I had a great interview with Lema and went to the gym. The gym felt great and gave me energy for the rest of the day. I am now working on my outline for PA 70 and studying for the last pledge quiz. What I accomplished today: laundry/clean room, 2 PA 60 lectures, slides, cluster seminar, discussion, interviews, gym, and office hour What I hope to accomplish: pledge meeting, outline, and start AP final study guide Goals for tomorrow: 2 PA 60 lectures, law firm, submit write up, outline, successful twin trial
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Post by elainekim on May 25, 2021 3:25:05 GMT
May 24th:
My hair is red now! I got it dyed through bruin hair, which everyone should go to since the woman who runs it gives UCLA students a discount. I was really tired in the salon and fell asleep a lot which reminds me of how I’d fall asleep at the dentist. I was nervous because the first shade was a little too purple/pink red for me, but after a couple more toner shades mixed in, I think it got to a color that I really like. After I got back we had our last pledge meeting which did not go well. I got put on probation (rip) because this is the second time I didn’t meet quota. I’m mad at myself because I technically did for the first one since I had my screenshots in, but I had written two of the interview journals late. Anyways, this was not a very good way to start off hell week, but I guess that just means I can only go up from here (or maybe not).
We’re going to be finishing up the paddles tonight and I need to focus on that since I don’t have much more time to get it done. This entire week is just an addition to my stress regarding my actual classes, so we’ll see if I’m even mentally alive. To make matters worse, flying home in the middle of all this was just so unnecessary and sidetracking, but obviously, I had no choice in that either. I hope hell week goes okay and I’m going to prepare as much as possible.
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Post by kylienakamoto on May 25, 2021 3:56:50 GMT
Monday 5/24/21
I was not very productive today so I feel kind of bad about myself. I woke up and just did some studying for the quiz, oral interviews, and twin trials. I think I was just so tired today because of my busy day yesterday. I hung out with Akunnia which was super fun but I spent the rest of the day in bed because I was so worn out and had a headache. So today I just had a very lazy day. Our last pledge meeting didn’t go very well since some of us (including myself) did not meet quota. I feel stupid for not emailing Christian beforehand. I plan to spend the rest of the night finishing painting my paddle with some of my p-bros. Hopefully I feel better when I hang out with them because I just have been feeling kind of tired and icky all day. I think I’m just so stressed for Hell Week because a lot is riding on it.
I really need to catch up on economics homework and lectures, accounting lectures, and prepare for Hell Week. I think all my focus has been on Hell Week that I haven’t been focusing on school, but I really want to do well this week.
I don’t really have anything else to say so I’ll just talk about my weekend. 1. Sour on repeat!!! The album is so good, especially Traitor and Happier. Even though I’m in a happy relationship I still love these songs. On Saturday I had such a fun day with my p-bros where we got brunch, went to the mall, and then painted paddles for the rest of the night. I cannot wait for the rest of my p-bros to come to Westwood.
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Post by nathanklassen on May 25, 2021 4:47:22 GMT
Journal 05/24: Hello all, I think I can write this down as the best day of the quarter and year so far! Today my family and Max went to Santa Catalina Island, off of the Newport Beach area. This was fun as it was one of the only opportunities I had to relax this past weekend while being in the Southern California area and I was able to see my big! The day started early as I woke up before 7 AM, which I have not done in almost a year, and we quickly headed off to catch the ferry to the island. The ferry was an hour and a half long ride and I got a bit seasick during it as my body was not used to functioning that early in the morning. Additionally, there were a fair amount of young adults who were getting intoxicated at the ripe time of 10 in the morning and it was entertaining to listen to. Once we got to the island, the first thing we did was kayak for about an hour or two, and Max and I were in a double so it put our teamwork to the test, but we did really well! Being seated in a kayak you are also forced to talk to each other so I learned a lot more about my big, which was nice and I feel like it blossomed our friendship further. The rest of the day was walking and chatting with her and my family, sharing banter and other random stories. On our way back, we were on the same ride as the group from the morning who were even more inebriated than before, probably from drinking all day as well. They definitely put on a show for us to laugh at. This night will be spent packing for my trip back home and studying for the twin trial with Zz. Hell week has begun, but I will do my best to succeed. Have a good night– Nathan
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